Beneath the Surface

Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding. What we know of the world we inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for us to comprehend. If we could only see how close God is to us and how constantly He works on our behalf, we would never again doubt that He is wonderfully caring for us. This is why I must walk by faith and not by sight, trusting in His mysterious, majestic Presence.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone- while morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? " Job 38:4-7

God created all things, therefore he is in all things. Our world is much more spiritual than we even realize. Everything is spiritual, because God is at the root of all things created. If I could only see how close God is to me and how he is constantly working all around me I would never doubt again. I have Peace in my current state as a human being who loves God, who is not too sure of what my life should look like or where it is leading me because I believe he cares for me and is very much involved in my life. So I walk by faith and not by sight.

My life has looked pretty "random" but now I see a very thought out, beautiful and personal story my life is telling. It's not by chance that things have happened they way they have. It's all part of a bigger story being told.

The City I live in.

Today was one of those "walk around the French Quarter and soak everything in" kind of days. I love to do this once in a while, just because I can and because I love living somewhere that is walkable, entertaining, and pleasing to the senses. I have a ritual when I go. I go alone. I always go to the CC's on Royal St- my barista by the name of Smokey overly likes his job and will convince anyone that coffee is the absolute best thing in the universe. I get my hot tea and sip it while strolling through the crowded streets. I love hearing the different sounds all around me, the smells of the spices filling the air, and the characters all around me. My favorite- the silver spray painted statues. New Orleans is a special place. It is a place full of life. As I was walking along the river I noticed a young man laying on some steps that lead to the Mississippi river. He was surrounded by a group of rescue workers. Apparently this guy had had some type of medical emergency. He was young, probably around my age, and his dog was his only companion. I stood and watched as the young man convulsed up and down on the steps. I am not sure what happened but it didn't look good. They loaded him up on a stretcher and began to wheel him off to an ambulance. The police were gathering information on a note pad, asking a homeless guy who was witnessing this sight if he knew him and who was going to take care of this guys dog? After watching this unfold before my eyes I was deeply moved, awakened, and realized something. I live in a city. Cities have life. Cities have jobs. Cities have poverty. Cities have crime. Cities have people who are happy. Cities have people who are hurting. I live in a city and I want to be here for the city- as well as live in it. I am discovering how this can practically work in my daily life. I must not surround myself with people that fit in my genre. I must not isolate myself from relationships that need to be built. I see a brighter picture being painted here, one where the poor and the business men alike are hanging out. New Orleans. This is the city I live in.

New Orleans Mission Revisited

Wow I can't believe it's the middle of November already. Since my last blog a lot of life has been lived. The frenchies came and went, I ran a half marathon, halloween made its presence well known in New Orleans, the Hornets are the best team in the NBA, LSU beat BAMA, and the Saints are on FIRE. I'll get to experience my first Saints game this Sunday!! Who Dat!!

Me and some friends from Church went to the New Orleans Mission and got to serve dinner to a lot of people. People of all ages, young, and old, people of all types, crippled, good looking, and of all races. It's always humbling doing something like that. One man I was serving crackers to pulled me closer to him and said "This is beautiful what you all are doing. Actually getting out and being the Church, putting actions to the words that you say." You know, he is right. But what I'm challenged with is something Rob said at Vintage the other day. If the Gospel is not in it than it's worthless. I can do nice things, serve thousands of homeless people but if the Gospel is not in it- its useless. Wow. That is so true. My obligation is to live the gospel, to speak it, to show it. Not just use serving people as a cop out or something that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. The gospel is my motivation to serve, but I must make that known. There is nothing good in me except Christ.

I still don't have a full time job, I am working in Kenner about one or two times a week. And temping as a hygienist at other offices when needed. It's amazing how God has provided for me. I do not have to worry, He has taken care of me. This brings me much peace. I know He is guiding my steps and will show me further why He has brought me to Nola. For there are better things yet to come here in this place.

Generosity Theology

I give.

Because He first gave to me.

God has given us all.

He is all and is in all.

He holds the universe in His hands.

He loves us as his own children. Because of His Love, I will freely give. Because of His Love, my sins are washed away. Because of His Love, I live. Jesus has overcome the world, he has overcome death. New life is born. Thank you for giving me new life. In response to this, I give generously. It is my response to his grace poured upon me. I do not give to show off, I do not give out of guilt, I do not give because I am rich, nor do I give in hopes of gaining wealth. No, I give because He first gave to me new life, so this is my response. This is my way to show I am thankful for what he has given to me. It isn't much, but it is out of my thankfulness that I give. It brings me great joy to give. I stand firm in Him and I trust in Him to continue to provide for my needs.
Naturally, it is hard to give. It hurts. Especially not having a consistent job. But when I remember why I give, and to whom I give to it changes things. I am blessed beyond measure and this is my response.

Frenchies come to Nola!

For the past week we have had 2 french women staying at our apartment. Their names are Isabelle and Sandrine. They are here for a total of 13 days and are with a group of students who are doing an exchange with Newman High School students. It's been really great, I am certain we have the best 2 of the group. They are both English teachers in France. We have done our best to show them the culture, music and amazing food New Orleans has to offer.

Friday night we brought them down to Frenchman Street to hear some amazing jazz music at Snug Harbor. A guy from England that Adrienne works with plays the Sax and was performing at Snug Harbor. He was able to get us into the sold out show for free! It was pretty impressive. Jazz music is such a mystery to me, how they flow and feed off each other- true talent. As we were leaving the show we decided to take a walk down the ever happening Frenchman Street. We could hear a brass band in the distance, me and Adrienne turned to each other in sheer happiness. We raced down the street to find the source of the music we were hearing. There was a brass band playing in the street with a huge crowd circled around. Some were dancing to the music, some listened with huge grins, while others watched in utter culture shock. As I watched all this I had a moment... and I thought to myself: This is why I love New Orleans so much.

Sunday evening we brought the whole crew (25 high school kids and 4 teachers) down to the quarter to Preservation Hall, a famous jazz hall nestled off the madness of Bourbon and St. Peter's St. We opted for the streetcar route to reach the quarter. Once again I had a moment. We had the hook up at Preservation Hall as well. When we arrived there was a long line of people waiting for the rod iron entrance gate to open. Adrienne shoved her way up to the gate to have a word with the manager, meanwhile we were getting yelled at by a group of Italians waiting in line. Once the manager knew we had arrived she opened the gate and let only our group in. When this happened the whole line bursted out in a loud yell. They were not happy. It was quite an experience, and we felt really cool. The jazz was simply enchanting. As I listened to the notes bounce off the piano, drums, clarinet, trumpet, and trombone I closed my eyes and got lost. As the melodies rolled off the instruments so beautifully it took me back in time. Need I say, I had another moment.

Monday night Isabell and Sandrine cooked us an authentic French meal typical for their region in France. It was delicious. Salmon with a cream sauce full of butter and challots, a side of veggies consisting of leeks and carrots, and homemade crepes for dessert. Yummy! Tuesday night Adrienne took them to Jaques-Imos. If you haven't ever been there than you've never truly experienced New Orleans. That place is chalk full of character, and needless to say AMAZING food! Tonight we will go to the warehouse district for some music and good food at Couchon.

Having these two ladies stay with us has really meant a lot to me. When I was living in France the people there opened up their homes to me so many times. People I didn't even know were so hospitable to me. In turn, I am opening up my house to these strangers. I am living life with them for 2 weeks. I am learning from them and hopefully they are learning something from me. My desire is to always have an open door to serve people, even when it's not the most convenient or comfortable situation for me. They have offered us to come stay with them in France, and of course we took them up on the offer!

Struggle much?

I have been kind of struggling lately. I've been struggling with my current circumstances, I've felt a little down lately. I know it's all part of the life cycle we live, we have high times and low times. I was starting to doubt things in my life. How easily do I forget what God has blessed me with! How petty can I be, how fast do I lose sight of what God is doing all around me. I am thankful for the "hard times" because it draws me ever closer to God. He is a good God. He is with me and for me. He loves me more than I can comprehend. Forgive me for my unbelief, increase my faith Father.

He spoke to me today in His word. In James Chapter 1 it says: "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." He is growing me and maturing me. I need more wisdom. I need more faith to not doubt. So I will ask for these things and I believe He will answer my request.

God has recently brought a lot of people into my life. I've gotten to know an Orthodontist here in New Orleans who is determined to find me a job. I have been subbing regularly at Sacred Heart and the sweet teachers there have taken me under their wings and are determined to help me out as well. I am so thankful. People are shedding kindness on me, its my turn to do it in return.

God can turn all things into good. I am grounded in this promise and in the promises that are in His word. So I will persevere, I will fight the good fight, I will not doubt. I trust in the one who holds the universe in His hand.

No more fun @ the Y-M-C-A

I was a brunette, but for only 4 days. I'm back to sort of being a blonde. I was wanting a change, I felt like I was in a rut.
Change.

Why is change so hard for us? We are such creatures of habit. This world is consistently changing all around us, but we put on blinders and force things not to change or we try to change things hoping to make it better than before, hence my hair. But, most times we end up messing everything up! I am learning how little control I have over my life, and at the same time how much there is out there for me to accomplish. I am learning the world will slip on by me if I don't get out there and live! I desire to be used for the purpose I was created to be used- to love God, to love People, to live the Gospel.

This world is a broken place. Things happen and we don't understand why, people do things that don't make sense. I have a friend who was working for the YMCA in Lake Charles. The board recently called all of the programs off at the Y and let him go as well as demoting his boss. Good things were going on at the Y, children were being taught Christian principles, they were getting to play on sports teams and learning valuable character building lessons. They were loved and accepted. It's a shame all this had to come to an end. Hopefully one day the YMCA in Lake Charles will have a rebirth and will be a thriving community center, from the looks of things though, this may only be in our dreams.

So, what now? We live, we thrive, we love.

Each. Day. Matters.

I've gone a while with out blogging. I guess I've been busy, I always think about what I would write for the day. When one day passes and then another, things get forgotten, life continues on and we forget what each day entailed. I don't want that to be a pattern.

Since my last post I have been staying busy with Temping as a Hygienist, Substitute Teaching, and Babysitting. It is pretty crazy how my days have been steadily busy. God has provided for me each day. I never know what the next day will bring, but He ends up providing for me. It's crazy. I am so thankful!

This experience has definitely increased my Faith. I have seen God answer my prayers so clearly. I have seen Him provide financially for me. I have seen Him bring people into my life. I have seen Him put new passions in my life. I have seen Him direct my path. I have tasted and seen that He is good, my Faith has been built up, and this gives me tremendous Peace. I will not worry or be anxious about tomorrow. My desire is that today I will be used for God's glory. That today, He will practically use me in other people's lives. Today something will happen that impacts tomorrow. I want to have eyes that see things from a different perspective, a perspective of love, of deeper things, soul-spirit-heart.

New Orleans Mission

Today I worked at the New Orleans Mission. It was something. The New Orleans city officials shame the homeless, they act like they don't exist. They wish they would go away. So what do they do about it? Deny that there is a problem and go about there business spending money on who knows what. The New Orleans mission does not receive support from the local officials, in fact they have tried to shut the Mission down several times. It's sad. The Mission does not receive many federal grants due to the fact that Chapel is held four times a week. That doesn't really make sense to me? The Mission has a new, beautiful building behind the main building but has been recently shut down due to lack of funding. It makes me sad, they could do some wonderful things for this city but are held back by the people that run this city and the fact that they are broke. Most of the money they receive is from private donors like you and me. When I was there today I felt like this place could be so much better than it currently is. They now have had to start charging $5.00 dollars per night for homeless guests to get a bed.

When I got to the Mission, another girl showed up to volunteer. She is around my age and is also on the job hunt. It was really cool to see someone else willing to give up her own time and volunteer. I hope this continues and more and more people become aware of the needs of the New Orleans Mission!

We worked with a guy named Chris. He was once homeless, lived out on the streets of New Orleans for about six months. He told us stories of nights he spent out on the streets. It sounded dreadful. He saw things no one should see and spent many nights scared for his life. He suffers from severe depression, but a way he gets through it is by writing poetry. He shared his poems with us. I have never read more words describing pain and loneliness before reading his poems. One of his poems read like this:

"Streets Of New Orleans"

The Streets of New Orleans will transform you into a man,
Or it will kill you right where you stand.
Saturated with murderers, rapists, and thieves,
It's a hard, hard life to live on these streets.
You get a freedom the likes you've never seen.
But you're out there with thugs and gang bangers,
And way things obscene.
You walk the streets and people stop to stare,
Most of the rest acts like you're not even there.
There's pedophiles and pushers. Junkies and cons.
Some will slit your throat for a quarter, and then just walk on.
These streets are not a good place; its dirty and sad.
If you live there for too long you will turn cold, mean, and bad.

Wow.
Imagine what he went through on those streets. He lived in a tent under the 1-10 bridge.

There is a lot of work to be done in this city. It's corrupt, the leaders are blind but we are not! I am willing to fight the good fight. I need a team. Let's do something about this.

Chris, our new friend at the Mission is now employed there. His life has been transformed. He was a graduate of the Discipleship program the mission offers- He was proud to tell us he graduated early! He is close to God now- more than ever before. He has meaning in his life. He is giving back and helping those that come to the Mission in search of something.

God bless the Mission. Because of the Mission, mouths are fed, bodies are bathed, heads are rested on pillows and not concrete. They are safe.

Merci Beaucoup!

I am Thankful. Thankful for so much! My family, friends, health, a God that loves me unconditionally, a God that will never change or leave us. I am Thankful that my life's main purpose is not for self. I am thankful for Peace, for Joy- no matter the circumstances. I often think about how different my life would look if I were not a follower of Christ. I am thankful that this is not the scenario. He has captured my heart. I see the world with a totally different set of eyes, there is so much more to life.

I don't think I have ever been more excited to go to work in my life. Monday I will be working at the New Orleans Mission, helping out in the garden. They grow there own food to cook with- love it. Tuesday I will be meeting with the Head Master at Newman to talk about Substitute Teaching. Wednesday thru the next Tuesday I will be filling in for a Hygienist! I am hoping this will open doors to future work. It's so hard having a skill, being confident in it, and not being able to use it. Once again, patience. I am thankful to have things written on my calendar to do. To be used and serve. Ah. I am alive. I want to be used more.

I have learned quite a lot through this time in my life of not having a full time consistent job. It has made me live more simple. To be more aware of how I spend money. I don't need a lot of THINGS. Less is better. I couldn't tell you what's in style. I don't know the latest trends. I don't care. I have learned to live with the wall down I can so easily put up, blocking people into my life. To open up my life to others, to open my house to others. To share life with others, it's how we were made to live- in community.

I met a couple of my neighbors. Two older women. They are precious, I want to bake them cookies.

Storyville

The Story.

We each tell different stories. I love hearing other people's stories. I know some amazing people, and their stories are what have shaped them into who they are. The interesting thing about a story is it is a continuous thing. Each event builds onto the next. Every sentence in life leads to a new paragraph with new characters and climaxes. I think it's important to go back and see where your story has brought you. It's neat to see how everything is related. Each chapter of life happened for a specific purpose. The page your life is being written on right now is a new page molded by the chapters preceding the current. God writes stories to teach us things, to show His infinite sovereignty. His plan unfolds in our lives and most of the time we aren't even aware of it.

This is why I love to think about my story. His ways are so much higher than mine, His plans are so different than mine. When we learn to loosen the grip we have on our life then we allow God to move. This is my problem. I can tend to have a tight grip on things. Like I've said, I like to fix things. Why do I think my plan will be better than God's? It never is. I ask for more faith, more trust. To remember that I am in His hands, that the God of all the universe- huge, that the personal God-intimate, is on my side. He works together all things for the good of those who love Him. My story will come together, it has come a long way, with some interesting and amazing chapters. I am confident that the best is yet to come. He is writing a story far better than I could ever think of on my own.

Write out your story. Share your story. Have a desire to live a meaningful story. You are the main character in only one book- your life.

Life, fer real

Life.
Me and Adrienne were having a conversation this evening. We were talking about the normal daily life one person lives. The everyday nitty gritty of "life". The realization that your whole life has built up to where you are now and well, it kinda feels like there should be more to it. Stop. Take a step back. Observe what your life looks like, how you got there and where it's going. it can be somewhat of a scary thing, maybe you will realize your life doesn't look at all what you hoped and dreamed it would look like. Maybe it is far better than you could ever dream of. All in all, I would bet each person has a moment when they wonder- this is it? Shouldn't there be more to it? More excitement? Didn't I work hard in school all my life and do many amazing things to get me some place great. But here I am, wherever you are, with whatever job you have and you are thinking: this is it?

Life is funny. We waste so much time building a resume, studying for school, working, exercising, when it all boils down... all that doesn't truly matter does it? Of course education is wonderful and it provides opportunity for us in the workforce. But, looking at our lives from a step back, from an eternal perspective it changes things.

The good news is there is more to life! Thank goodness! I think God puts that feeling in us so we long for Him. I think we will feel this way until our life here on earth is over and we are fully alive in Heaven. This life is temporal and will never give us complete satisfaction. Our true home is not this broken earth.

I have learned, however, that during this life it is possible to live fully alive and it's only by walking each day with Jesus. I can try and live alive everyday but I will not be successful if I attempt by myself. I live to not glorify self. That would be such an empty life, a life of always feeling like "this is it??" But to live with the soul purpose to glorify God- that is a life that will be fully alive. This is what I want. I am reminded that this life is temporal and not my ultimate destination, but I am also aware that this life here on earth can be exciting and wonderful because I live not for myself but for the God of the universe. This excites me, this life has only tapped the surface of what is yet to come. There is more to life. This is just the beginning.

Open Book

I am blown away at how personal God is. He is a huge, powerful, Holy God- but He is so incredibly personal. I experienced this the other day. As a matter of fact, as soon as I finished writing my last blog. I had been praying for a few days that God would give me a specific answer about something. I figured He would eventually show me what to do and I might get it right, or if I got it wrong He would still work out His plan down the road. This time though, I prayed with expectancy. I prayed expecting God to give me a clear answer and well, He did. He not only gave me an answer, but the answer He gave me couldn't have been more precise, more clear, more personal. He loves us enough to be so personal. I was amazed and overwhelmed with how cool our God is and so grateful that He has my life in His hands. This experience has increased my faith and encouraged me to pray more, but to pray with expectancy that He will answer my prayers!!

I want to be real here. I am not special. I am not super woman. I am not perfect. In fact, I am weak but He is strong. I am prideful but continuously humbled. I am selfish and pray for selflessness daily. I am not patient, but learning this one slowly. I am a work in progress, and it's a beautiful thing. I have been freed and made whole because of God's GRACE. (Grace: the divine gift of forgiveness and salvation from God that we don't deserve or even ask for but is freely given to us through our faith in Him) I am freed from the weight of trying to be perfect- because I will never be! And I don't have to try to be. I love God. I accept that I am human, I bask in the grace God has given me and I walk confidently with Him.

I am open for change- I don't want to stay the same. I want to constantly be molded and shaped into the woman that I was truly created to be. I feel I delay this process a lot. I am a fixer, a do-er, a controller. These aren't always bad things, but sometimes they overrule with what is truly best for my life. I want to be so confident in Christ that each day I have an open blank notebook waiting for Him to write down my story for the day. Here is the pen. Take it. I will write the wrong story, I've already written too many pages in my life. I know He will write a creative story, one that I couldn't have ever written. Life like this is an adventure!

Just to keep you updated with the job searching, I have a job lined up at a great Dental Office next week! I will be filling in for a Hygienist all week. I also have an interview on Wednesday at Sacred Heart Academy to be a Substitute Teacher. I hope to sub until I find a full time job.

P.S.- I haven't gotten to know my neighbors yet, this one is going to take some time.

Namaste

Rebirth

New Orleans.

Why New Orleans? The only answer I can give is: God. He put this place on Me and Adrienne's mind while we were living in France. Random. I never would have thought I would live here again. Most don't get it, but we do. We love this city. We know it is right where we were supposed to go. Neither one of us had a job when we signed the lease for our apartment. I still don't. I am learning how to wait. Patience is truly a virtue. I trust God has a job for me out there that will be a perfect fit. I can't wait to write about it soon!

New Orleans has the most homeless people per capita in the United States. Pre-Katrina there were about 6,000 homeless people, now there are 19,000. Wow. There is a huge need here. I am blown away each day as I meet transplants from all over the world that have moved to this city. They have left their comfortable jobs and homes and have come here to help with the homeless, the broken, the rebuilding, the collapsing school system, and the oil spill cleanup. Thank you. It challenges me to DO SOMETHING. The New Orleans Mission is constantly flooded with homeless guests and are always in desperate need of volunteers. I will use this time of unemployment to serve them and I will be blessed because of it.

I believe there is no better time to be in New Orleans. I know there are good things for this city. I can't wait to be apart of something big, to be apart of the rebirth of New Orleans I see all around me. I don't think it's ironic the whole world has had its eyes on this city for the past 5 years. This place will be different, the dark cloud will be blown away and the flowers will bloom again. They are being planted right now.

My challenge for the next few weeks is to get to know my neighbors. I want to get to know them, serve them, and love them. To live in community with the community that surrounds me. To branch out. I leave you with a challenge: Go hang out with some strangers.

Simply Complicated

A year ago, my life had gotten pretty boring. I was starting to feel sucked in, shelled up. My personality started to lose it's spark, I was becoming how my life was being lived. Not very exciting. Constrained. I was not living alive, I was letting life live around me. So I did something about it.
Moving to France was the best thing I've ever done. I learned a lot, but most of all it made me alive. It was challenging, out of my comfort zone, foreign. I learned to embrace the culture around me, to live simply- with out a bed, car, and furniture you'll learn that one fast! I also learned to make a difference in this world is not that hard. So this is my mission. To continue to live Simple and make a complicated huge difference in this world. Yes, a complicated difference not a normal difference. It makes sense to me. To cause people to ask questions, to complicate what the world sees as normal. I will live differently then the world, my life won't make sense to most- I'm pretty sure it doesn't make sense to most people now :) And I like that!
So now, life has taken me to the Big Easy. NOLA. N'awlins. New Orleans. I love this city. I will make a difference in this place. I will live in this city and I will be alive.

Ready. Ok. Go. Live!

Live Alive: to tell a story with your life that impacts life around you and eventually the world. Living intentionally, living outwardly focused instead of inwardly, being creative, refusing to hop on the work-spend treadmill that so many Americans waste their lives away on. What story are you telling with your life? I want to tell a great story. So, I am creating a blog to tell my story and hopefully it will be one that people will want to read.

Most stories begin with an introduction, so I guess this is where mine will start. I read a book recently by Donald Miller called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." That book has inspired me to start this blog. He talks about his story and realizes he is living quite a boring story, so he decides to do something about it. A bike ride across America, hikes the Inca Trail in Peru, kayaks through the Juan Islands, starts several charity organizations... Now, his story is more interesting. I don't think my story has ever been boring but I want my story to continue to be exciting. However, more than telling an exciting story, I want to tell a story of selflessness, a story that means something, that impacts others lives and the world around me, that glorifies God and not self. Everything else is lagniappe. I write this blog to keep myself accountable. Life written down exposes a lot. How will my life look written down, to be honest I am a little nervous. Let's see what happens. Ready. Ok. I gotta GO live today. Bye.